They worried about losing their identities and about no longer being able to pursue their goals and dreams. Friends of mine expressed their deep fears of becoming mothers.

Of course, the congratulatory messages poured in but so did some very sad and disturbing conversations as the months passed. I realized this when my husband and I announced that we were expecting. We don’t often speak of celebrating moms in these moments, but I have come to realize that I see motherhood very differently than most. This feeling might seem like a strange one for a mom to feel on her child’s first birthday. Reflecting on his first year, I thought to myself, “What an amazing boy,” and I also thought “I’m an amazing mom.” Yes, I was proud of him and I was proud of myself. I love watching him experience everything for the first time, seeing his mind work as he takes in new flavors and concepts. My heart warmed with joy and I felt tears well up in my eyes.

He looked up at us after a few seconds with pure delight, white frosting spread across his face. My husband and I watched as he cautiously touched his first cake before proceeding to plant his mouth in the middle of it. Below, Anna (mama to Michael Malakai, 1) on why the value of motherhood needs to be recognized and honored in order for the world to change. The Three Mothers: How the Mothers of Martin Luther King, Jr, Malcolm X, and James Baldwin Shaped a Nation, takes a hard (and rare) look at the matriarchs behind some of the brightest lights in Black history and the fight for civil rights. Today’s essay comes from mother, writer, and academic Anna Malaika Tubbs, whose first book comes out today.

Anna malaika tubbs the three mothers